So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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