I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
