So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
