pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
