Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
