I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it because I queefed?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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