If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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