Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize