Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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