i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
