i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
