"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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