she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
