So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
