I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I party with great urgency now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
