Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
