dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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