Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
