i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
