So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
