Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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