it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
