ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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