We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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