Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize