omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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