I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
did i just pee glitter
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
