My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This is the high leading the old right now
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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