I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
