no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
do nipples grow back?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize