If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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