I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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