Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
