Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
