Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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