I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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