we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
