ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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