his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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