i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
