we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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