she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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