Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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