With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
