I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
