Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
