I have demons in me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
someone owes me an orgasm
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
