you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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