He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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