So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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