so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
