I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
