I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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