Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
