after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
