So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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