She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ladies don't puke and tell
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
