he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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