Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
