i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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