At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
where are my eyebrows?
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