Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
