so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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