dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
