im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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