You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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