His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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